Psychic Changes

There are a few changes that I have begun to make. I have been subtly pressuring them for Yammy's arrival. I have abandoned my traditional nightly rituals of stargazing, dreaming of romantic ideals and weaving illusions that shatter into dust at the slightest touch. I have intensified my focus on my goals, and suddenly I can play the darkest and most complex melodies just by closing my eyes and concentrating. Effortless. I can do this, easy. I have picked up my pen, and begun writing once more. Deep, dark stories of the eternal search for redemption. I have come to a decision regarding my own tragic love. On the 21st of December, I will complete what I set out to do three years ago. J, I don't want them anymore. My senses have been sharpened by my lack of emotion, and suddenly I know intuitively what needs to be done. I have thrown the two flutes away, turning my back on everything that they stand for, and the only thing I am pursuing right now is for my piano to be settled where it belongs, in my room where I can live out the rest of my existence the way I was born to. The rigours of life have tired me greatly, and now I wish to recede into the shadows once more. The light stands guard over me, sentries against the darkness that threatens to consume me. I laugh quietly to myself, knowing it only infuriates the swirls of black that lurk in the corners of this empty castle. I will retire for the night, having spent a great portion of it on light-hearted endeavours. In the months to come, there will be many who will label me as cruel, or cold, or heartless. Have it your way, then. I have surrounded myself with a layer of sharp icy blades, so if you know what's good for you...keep your distance. I won't pull any punches, nothing will be held back anymore. I'm tired of constantly reining in the fiery darkness within me. If you get in my way, I can and I will blast you to smithereens. Darling, this song's for you.
When you first left me I was wanting more
But you were fucking that girl next door, what'd you do that for
When you first left me I didn't know what to say
I never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day
I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found a light in the tunnel at the end
Now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it's only because you're feeling alone
At first when I see you cry,yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,but then I just smile I go ahead and smile
Whenever you see me you say that you want me back
And I tell you it don't mean jack, no it don't mean jack
I couldn't stop laughing, no I just could help myself
See you messed up my mental health I was quite unwell
I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found a light in the tunnel at the end
Now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it's only because you're feeling alone
At first when I see you cry,yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,but then I just smile I go ahead and smile