Dark Severance

It has begun. The sleepless nights, the endless wondering. Where I go, the hateful crows follow. A murder of crows is haunting me, and the unkindness of ravens takes every opportunity to caw out their scorn. I'm slowly severing the threads that bind me to this world. I have not slept for two days. AND STILL THIS GODDAMN QUESTION WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE! The walls are closing in on me. But i don't fucking care. I have my best friend with me! TIll the end, Marlboro! You have your price, but you are my only companion on these shadowed nights. The darkness sweeps across the country. Night, ah sweet, sweet Night. My old friend. Take me in your dark embrace, make me one of the jewels in your twisted court where the Moon plots her murder of the Sun for all eternity. A futile effort, as futile as my own pathetic attempts to run away from the demons of my mind. Insanity. I'm going fucking insane. Damn my own mind. Intellect? *snorts* WHat sense is there in my twisted concepts? THe world is not real. IT IS NOT REAL. It is just a figment of my imagination. This blog entry? It's my desperate way of trying to tear down this illusionary world in which I am trapped. How? How do I validate reality? How do I know, as my fingers fly across the keyboard, that these light taps upon the keys are real? How do I know that the floor upon which I lie is real? What is real? Humans are stupid. No one has been able to answer me. I remain as I am four years ago. The wandering wonderer. Or is it the wondering wanderer. Does it matter? Circles within circles, worlds within worlds, realities overlapping and clashing in my head. I think my head will implode. I hope it does. THe world is stupid. Why can't I find the answer to such a simple question? HUMANITY! With all these advances in technology, you remain woefully ignorant of the most basic issues that must be addressed. VALIDATE YOUR REALITY FOR ME. You have not even explored the ocean depths, nor the forests deep, yet you aim your sights on planets far away without taking the time to question what truly exists on the very Earth you live in. I close my eyes at your folly. YES! YOUR FOLLY! The clouds roll past, and the sweet sirens of Night beckon to me. Yes, yes, my old friends. I will be out shortly to join you after I finsih this rambling post. No one can help me. I'm all alone with my Marlboros and the lonely Moon. It is over. I have finally descended into full blown insanity. The inevitable has happened. I tip a wink to the Lunar Queen. Moon. Lunar. Luna. LUNATIC! No one can truly understand what it means to be in my position. I have given up all thoughts of redemption. The winds are howling, growing restless at my hesitation to dress and leave this dark room where my deep thoughts have collected like dark stains upon every surface. Pages and pages of scribblings, writings, my work at trying to prove to myself that this world and its contents is real. Doesn't matter. I have vowed not to sleep. I don't give a flying fuck if I finally collapse. I will speak only when spoken to. All hail the great god of depression! My mind is slowly but surely being crushed by its own weight. Johann...dear Johann. Capable of higher cognitive abilities? Moi? *giggles* SO sorry. I'm just another madman you find on the streets. I'm going loopy already. Teehee. Right. It's time for decisive action. It is no longer Gabriel's name that I invoke as I careen down this path of madness.