Dark Despair

The rabid dogs of war have begun to howl, and the battledrum beats in my ears. Save me, before I condemn myself to a Hell of my own making. Give me faith that I am worthy of being loved, even with my shadowed past. Help me, even as you mock my clumsy attempts to help myself. Some days, I miss the feel of a cool blade running across my flesh. And I wonder...what if my hand slips? As I bleed myself dry in a dark cave surrounded by people who tell me I'm worthless and that I deserved to be raped...I wonder what will happen. Wondering wanderer. I have wandered too far afield in life. I have lost all hope. I pray the spark will be ignited before I sink even lower. I pray, I dream, I wish, I hope...but it all comes to naught. Come shadows, come demons. I have fallen.
Take me, and in sweet surrender I hope to find salvation in oblivion.