Dark Insomnia

The night is still and silent, and the world slumbers. I stand alone, watching the other nocturnal creatures slinking through the shadows, parting it as only we children of the night can. The darkness is like a tangible cloud, instantly cloaking my outstretched fingers in shadow. Consume me, my mind whispers. My euphoric glow has faded, leaving only bitterness in its wake. I have lost my fight for sleep tonight, and this battle lost will pave the way for my descent into darkness. I ache all over, but still I cannot sleep. I damn the sandman more with each passing minute, cursing him even as his absence damns me. The night is dying. A few more hours, and daybreak will flood the skies with light, even though I remain untouched. Threads of red and black shoot through my aura, anger and darkness cloaking me as I begin a new day. It's godfuckingthursday. I should be glad, I should be thankful. Yet all I can think of now are the exams looming over me. If I pass, I'll finally get the promotion. I don't really care, but...my emotions are confusing me. It is nice to finally have someone in class regard me as an equal instead of an aloof airhead. Didn't exactly drive me home, but close enough, goddammit. I'm so tired, and so tired of being tired, and it seems like all circles have beginnings and no end. If I surrender now to the exhaustion that sweeps through my physical self, then maybe my mental self can heal from the current wave of darkness. Yet as I watch the seconds tick past on my clock, I know I have run out of time. This is it. I have to go without sleep for today. I will be on medical leave for next Tuesday. The doctor at the posh, posh clinic was ever so nice. Service was impeccable. I glided into the room, sat, and discussed with him the problem that has plagued me for so long. He agreed that an absence seizure is out of the question. Scheduled me for an entire day scan of my brainwaves, and cheerily informed me that I am not allowed to sleep for 16 hours before taking the test. Sure, no sweat. I miss his bubbly presence. *sighs* I ran my fingers over Yammy before leaving the house, not really playing, just feeling the smoothness of the finish. He seemed to sigh in resignation as I pulled myself away and out the door, flying away on wings of the darkest shade of black. Away from this hellhole where snap judgments are made every five seconds. I know I'm not being fair...but who cares? I have a test on Friday, and a medical appointment on that very day. I'm so tired. I hope he'll drive me home tomorrow. J has come back, surprisingly. One quick message, 6 words. "You really want to do this?" That's all it took. I don't want to think about it. Told him about Gerald. He didn't reply. Sigh....I think I'll risk a few hours of sleep. I don't want to face Norris on zero hours of sleep and fall asleep in his *purple* Honda. Hope the two guys can relight my spark tomorrow. Gerald always manages to, somehow.
Here's to hope.