Psychic Balance

I have chosen the path of darkness, that is true. But tonight I have been reminded of how much light I still possess within me. I have come full circle, J. No longer that twisted shadow boy willing to scar you for every slight against me. But these epiphanies, such as they are, will have absolutely no impact on you, because you're gone. Not dead, but not alive for me anymore. Go, ZJ. Fly, appreciate the world that is yours to explore now that you're no longer bound to me. All of you are fireflies in my darkness, and now I no longer have need for you, because all the luminescence I need is right here in my heart. Someday, our paths will cross. I have always, and will always be there for those who need me in their time of darkness. Who understands it better than I do? I am content, for I have allowed the steel within me to show itself tonight. The ancient spirits watched in quiet puzzlement as I unfolded my wings and turned away from the court of Night. I may be deeply connected to my spiritual path, but I also walk in the world of the living. And it is here that I belong, to help, to heal, to be firm, to wound and be wounded, to learn, to grow, and most importantly, to love and forgive. I won't always be the perfect angel, but I've left my personal demons behind tonight. I give thanks to the Goddess for guiding me tonight, and I say a quiet prayer for the world and humanity as a whole. May we always grow in goodness and light, and support those among us who have fallen behind.
It's in giving that we receive, and it's in pardoning that we are pardoned.

Dark Paths

Knowledge without application becomes worthless. Power without direction is dangerous. I have chosen my path, and I shall stay true to it, even if it leads me into the bowels of Hell. The answer solidified itself in my mind when I was given a choice between light and dark. I instinctively reached out for the dark cards. They sang softly in my fingers when I slid them out of their protective cover. And they rekindled the fire in me I thought would never burn again. ...Then the memory of a covenant from long ago burned through the fog of Time, reminding me once more that I had sworn to keep away from these paths of darkness that lead to terrible power, and also to terrible destruction and pain for the people who stray too close to me. But I am no longer the apprentice without experience. And our vows no longer have value or meaning. I am finally ready to announce my alignment with the darker forces at work in our world. I will wield both light and dark, and I will maintain a delicate balance of both forces within me.
I've missed this feeling of raw power...

Dark Clouds

My books lie open and untouched on the table. The clouds are gathering overhead, and I wonder what I'm doing to myself and to the people around me. I'm down to my last pack of cigarettes, and I'm only leaving the office tomorrow morning. I don't think I'll last the night with only 17 sticks. I've been wounded yet again. A double whammy by the two men who only weeks ago seemed like angels to me. I have nothing left to say to you, Justin. You chose this path when you left me five years ago. So be it. I know the only reason why you came back is because you believe I can protect you from your own demons. Well, you've damned yourself by hurting me all those years ago. You're not getting any help from me. I won't say anything regarding MC, just that...he's not...he doesn't measure up to my standards, intellectually and emotionally. Sometimes I can be really stupid when it comes to matters of the heart. I plunge right in without thinking and curse myself for the consequences after everything's over. Well...it's time to raise the seals again. To protect myself from the demonic Cupid that haunts me. Soon the storm will unleash a flurry of cleansing needles and I will be out there dancing among the crystalline drops from heaven. Just for today, I will revert back to the cold, merciless demon JB believes I am. And the sigils of hatred and destruction that have been lying dormant in my person will be brought back to life by the dark despair running through my veins. From the deepest well of darkness: my own heart.
I need people like you to remind me to walk in the light.
But sometimes, just sometimes, this dark power can be exhilarating.