Dark Breathlessness

I cannot breathe, the web I'm entangled in is choking me. The problems will never cease, and the hospital's mistake has compounded my problems further. My rage towards the hospital staff has been steadily building up to a crescendo. It is not a slight mistake, something that I can overlook. It wounds me terribly, and this is one of the reasons why I tend to get so reticent with normal people. I showed parts of my soul to the healthcare workers because I know my rights as a patient, and I understand the confidentiality that patients are entitled to. Regardless of their motives, that safeguard should have stayed in place. It was something that I counted on, this breach will not go unnoticed, I make this promise. I will take it as far as I can, if I can. This latest incident has nearly sapped the last of my will to live, and I fear for my continued health. As it is, I have lost another home due to the staff's incompetence. The utter injustice of this leaves the acidic taste of bitterness in my mouth. I have other things to rant about regarding the hospital I was INCARCERATED in, but for dignity's sake I shall leave it at that. They have launched a full investigation on account of my telephone call, but the longer I sit here and brood, the hotter my fires burn and draw on the oxygen in my lungs. I cannot breathe. To quote a close friend, I am a bird with a broken wing, but no one and nothing can heal me because my wings will always stay broken. I wonder sometimes if my life is coming to a close. I wonder if tonight will be my last night. I have fought Fate at every turn, fighting everyone and everything just to survive and find my place in this world. I am tired of fighting. I will fix everything that I have ever done wrong, and when I go out tonight, IF I go out tonight, I will mend all the bridges that I have ever broken with my tainted touch. The sarcasm and cruelty have risen once more in me, my trusty twin blades that slice through everyone who's ever incurred my wrath. I will complete everything before I allow myself to think about the possibility of oblivion.
This time, it's personal.

Dark Demons

The desperate scramble to save what's left of my kingdom begins. I am tired, weary beyond belief. It seems that the only solution is for me to face my fears, and the many vicious entities that inhabit the place that is, to my eyes, a lesser hell than the one I currently reside in. It's goodbye to my piano once again, goodbye to my uncertain security and hello to new demons. And this time, they don't come from within. No, I was there last night, and the chill in the air was an ominous warning. If I get incarcerated there, then I will use my time to delve deeper into the theories that have presented themselves before me. I feel bitter, and my sarcasm is flavoured with cruelty on this fine Friday afternoon. In 6 hours the sun will set, and the many shadows will emerge, screaming and weeping for salvation. How can I help them when I can barely help myself? The threads of Fate are easy to manipulate for those who can see the weaving as a whole. Yet my conscience sighs ever so softly, and I hesitate to add my own colours to the work of Fate. While I deliberate on what to do, Time continues to exert his influence over the clocks in the house. Damn him. I will leave this warm castle for the chill dungeons where countless souls suffer, even in death. I cannot grant them release, but perhaps I can lessen their pain, and in turn, ease my own pain. I don't think anyone understands how heart-wrenching the screams of the damned can be.
You curse me with your 'gift', Gabriel.

Dark Rage

The dust has settled, and I am still standing. My blades are poised to strike, and again the dark threads of heat have begun to wind through my veins. Those who stand between me and my current goal will find that my weapons are sharp and lethal. I have been patient and understanding for weeks, but I will not, cannot, wait any longer. It is time I revealed the full extent of my fiery wrath, and express clearly why it is that I need him here with me. They will not heed the gentle voice of reason, therefore I feel that I have no other choice but to spark another firestorm to make them see exactly what I'm feeling without the only measure of security that I had. I will not be reduced to carrying sheets of paper around as substitutes. Those days are over. My words will continue to echo throughout the corridors of their minds long after I'm gone. And so my epic battle to reunite my heart and soul begins. I doubt anyone else can understand the magnitude of my pain, or why the distance between us must be closed.
Understand that I am prepared to die for what I believe in.

Dark Night

Do you not know that my heart bleeds for you? Do you not sense the turmoil within me, do you not see the pain that colours my soul? I am wilting, slowly but surely, the way a rose left out in the desert withers to ash. I cannot articulate the pain that envelops my soul, and I am terribly afraid that in my blind state, I will end up hurting the very people who care for me. Gabriel, never have I needed your guidance more. He wept in my arms, but I let him go in good faith and he has shown every sign of rebuilding what I single-handedly destroyed. My own might frightens me, and I fear the mares that run rampant through the night. My elation at having located the scores to my song, the song that reverberates through my being, has faded. In its place is a dizzyingly bitter brew of self-recrimination and regret. All I want is a small measure of peace, something that I have sought for many years but have never found. Is that too much to ask for? Did you ever love me? When the time comes, I will bare my soul and not be afraid of the shadows that lurk in me. I no longer have my obsidian instrument to ease my pain, and I fear that in the days to come, I will go insane from the magnitude of what I am feeling.
A night without armour.

Psychic Pain

The shadows that run through my veins never last. My hatred will dissipate into nothingness, given time. But my pain is an eternal constant, and without the things I cherish, I fall to pieces. How many days has it been? I have lost count. How many days do I have left here, before even this meagre security is ripped from me and I find myself on the streets once more? The soft whisper in the back of my mind refuses to go away, and I am tired of living in constant fear. Healthwise, I have been coughing up more blood than usual, and the red streaks in the toilet sink seem to be a dark omen. If anything, I have lived by my values, and I am prepared to die for them, even when it means leaving this world without seeing the things and people I love the most.
Azrael, take me away.